Quest for Worst Movie Part 2 - Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

When I was a child I was into comic books and video games in a huge way...they were a form of escapism for me, to get away from all the bad things.  I was a huge fan of Batman and loved the movies, as well as the Superman movies, absolute classics from a great time....and then there was the Dark Knight trilogy, a great story which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Then Man of Steel came out, and The New 52! comics came out, putting me right off DC.

Following from the events that happened in Man of Steel, Superman is a controversial figure. Bruce Wayne/Batman blames him for the mass casualties after Superman's battle with General Zod, and Clark Kent/Superman believes Batman is dangerous and vows to expose him.  Here's the trailer:

The movie is outright awful!!  The lines in the movie are damn awful, the acting is awful, and the story is just outright boring.  The one thing that the movie is supposed to be all about (you know...this fight between Batman and Superman?) was pretty uninspired and was barely any part of the movie.  To me as the watcher, it felt like both heroes basically threw tantrums and basically had a fight about it, which is damn ridiculous.

It was rather good seeing cameos of other metahumans though, but to be honest they were the only interesting parts of the movie.  The ending felt rather lame with a blink and you'll miss it moment....and my wife who attempted to watch it with me pretty much lost the plot.

So....all in all, yet another damn awful movie from DC.  I tried to like this, I really did...but...just....no.  This is a bad movie...not Birdemic bad, but it is really bad.

Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice is rated 12A and can be bought in various stores and online digitally.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge (3D)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge (aka Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man Tell No Tales) is the fifth outing of Captain Jack Sparrow and his "friends" having adventures on high seas and basically trying to stop getting Jack killed....man, Jack does seem to have done a lot of things over the years and made a fair few enemies hasn't he? Here's the official trailer...

This time, Jack is on the hunt for the Trident of Poseidon, a treasure that can break all curses of the sea, with the help of his crew, Hector Barbarossa and Will Turner's son all the while being hunted by pirate hunter Captain Salazar, who wants revenge for his death.

It's a fun movie movie with the usual stunts and crazy shenanigans you'd come to expect from a POTC movie, but I felt it had something missing from it, especially when you consider this is potentially the end of the series (there are conflicting reports with some saying it is the end, and others stating that this is the beginnning of the end). There are several things that happen during the movie that ignore the series canon too (although to be fair this does happen quite a bit in this franchise in the other movies), making it feel at times that the movie was made by people who knew nothing about the franchise, but despite this it still isn't too bad a story wrap-up, and has an interesting after-credits scene too (although a majority of the audience left the screen as the credits started to roll).

The make-up and CGI where pretty good, Salazar and his crew looked pretty good and that as always was one of the highlights of the movies in this franchise...the demons that come out seem too look more and more flamboyant and in my view quite awesome....however, there were a few occasions when watching it in 3D that Salazar looked liked he'd been cut and pasted into the action which was a bit distracting sometimes.

The movie isn't really worth watching in 3D either, it felt flat still which was a disappointment, but that does seem to happen with a lot of movies these days. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge is in cinemas now, rated 12A and can be seen in 2D, 3D and D-Box.

Quest for Worst Movie Part 1 - BIRDEMIC

I must be absolutely mental....
I have decided that if I am to attempt to find a movie worse than Birdemic: Shock and Terror then I should rewatch it and refresh my memory of how it really is....perhaps I am wrong and I need to give it some slack?

People who used to read my blog way back when will know I have watched and reviewed this "amazing" movie and the review can be found HERE....I'd noticed I've been really quite dismissive and not said much about the movie at all here, so I'll do a bit of a better review this time.

Well, here's the trailer to begin with just so you can have a taste of the movie:

Right, so now that's out the way...on with the review....

Birdemic: Shock and Terror is set in Half Moon Bay, California when the hero of the piece appears to be some kind of telemarketer or something and scores a million pound contract (or something like that) and then he asks out someone he knew from school....they then go out and birds start going crazy and explode on impact (yes, really!). With everyone getting killed, will these lovers survive the Birdemic? More importantly....will my sanity survive this movie?

The acting is awful, the actors and actresses could have been replaced with cardboard cutouts with sound chips that "played" screamy death metal versions of Bible passages when motion was detected and it would have made more sense, and the dialogue was spoken so robotic all that it almost felt like people were bored and just wanted to get it over and done with. 

Whoever did the editing needs to be shot....the first 40-45 minutes were pretty much scenery shots and basically unnecessary...it just drags out a movie that's already a huge drag.

The music to the movie is damn awful too....played at the wrong time, doesn't sound right for the film or is too quiet when it plays. 

But the worst thing of all when it comes to this movie is the CGI. It looks like someone has ripped the digitized graphics from a Sega Genesis 32x badly and then superimposed them over....in fact the graphics from a Sega Genesis are probably superior! 

I really do not think that there is anything positive about this movie in any way shape or form, I've really tried to find something...anything that could potentially be good about Birdemic Shock and Terror and the only thing I can find good about this is the end of the movie as I'll never EVER watch this again. 

The movie was inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds....fine I understand that it's killer birds brought into the modern age (being mutated by global warming!!) but this is just so wrong.  I like to give movies a chance, and I have really tried this second time around, but I still think this is the worst movie that has ever been created

I'm not the only person who thinks that this movie is truly awful. With many places saying that this is the worst movie ever made, I am seriously wondering if there is any way to beat it....however, not everyone has the same taste as me and the movie does indeed have a cult following, so much so that there has been a second movie made and there is an Indiegogo page to attempt to raise funds for a third and apparently final movie.

And now some videos that show how bad this movie is...obviously, these are going to contain spoilers, so if you do actually intend to watch this movie then DO NOT WATCH THEM!!

JonTron calls Birdemic: Shock and Terror the worst movie ever.

CinemaSins: Everything Wrong With Birdemic

Birdemic: Shock and Terror is rated 15 and available on DVD and BluRay if you want to grab yourself a copy.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Well, as today is International Towel Day, I thought it only appropriate that I do a review on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The movie, based on the book (based on the radio series) of the same name, chronicles the adventures of an Earth dweller called Arthur Dent, his friend Ford Prefect, Intergalactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox, his companion Trillion and an Android called Marvin, who after the Earth is demolished to make way for a Hyperspace Bypass search for the planet Magrathea.

As a fan of the Books, Comic, Radio Series, TV Series, Game and more I was really looking forward to this movie, after all this was in development hell for about 15 and sadly the legendary Douglas Adams never got to see it...and if I'm honest I wish I hadn't seen it either (I really should have taken my Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses with me to watch this!!)

For starters, Ford Prefect was played by Mos Def...and American black man!  I'm sorry, but this was wrong...Ford is a white man!!!  And the way that they had Zaphod Beeblebrox's heads was wrong too, they are supposed to be next to each other, not a bloody pop up thing!!  The story felt wrong and does not feel like it was based on the book but perhaps the writer's mind wandered somewhere outside the Galaxy too.

There are some good points to this movie though (barring the end of the movie) and that is Stephen Fry being the voice of The Book (Amazing voice from an amazing man, great choice) and the voice of Marvin was the later great Alan Rickman.

All in all, it's not too bad as a movie in itself, but to me personally I do not feel that it belongs in the H2G2 universe.

Is there a movie that's WORSE than Birdemic?

I was on Facebook recently when I saw a post asking about what the worst movie ever made is, and everyone who knows me knows that the worst movie I have ever seen is Birdemic.  The acting is awful, the script is awful and the CGI is so bad that 8 bit sprites from a Sega Master System would be better!  I have only ever seen this movie once and I never....EVER...want to see this again.  It's so bad that my wife watched the Cinema Sins for this and said that she wanted her 20 minutes back and it topped Eragon which was her worst ever movie!

However, like Qui-Gon Jinn says "There's always a bigger fish" so I am now on a quest to see if there is a movie that's worse than Birdemic....I have so far had the following suggested:

• Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice
• Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Remake)
• Dragonball Evolution
• A Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake)
• Prometheus
• Screamers
• RoboCop 3
• Eragon
• Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
• Batman & Robin
• Santa Claus vs The Martians
• X-Men 3: The Last Stand
• Food Fight
• American Ultra
• Underworld series
• eXistenZ
• Iron Sky 1&2
• Nazis at the Centre of the Earth
• Fateful Findings
• Twilight
• The Final Destination
• Naked Lunch

So...what do you think has the potential to beat Birdemic and take the crown for my worst movie ever?  Give me your suggestions, I'll give them a watch and let's see if you're right!!

Prometheus

On Friday I went and saw Prometheus 3D at Vue Cinema, Festival Place, Basingstoke.

This movie had a lot of hype attached to it, originally the movie was going to be a prequel to the Alien movies, but the Ridley Scott decided this was just to be a movie set in the same universe as those movies.

The Wayland Corporation finance an expedition to the distant moon LV-223 after archeologists discover identical star maps from several different otherwise unconnected ancient civilisations.

They hope to find the creators of humankind, however what they do find...is something that could totally destroy it if it gets chance to escape.

The movie was great, lots of action and it adds more to the history of the Xenomorphs (you get to see a early evolution on the facehugger and and the fully grown alien) which is quite interesting, although the movie does leave things open for a sequel to this movie.

Prometheus certainly lived up to the hype in my opinion (a rare thing these days) and although the 3D wasn't really that good it didn't detract from the enjoyment I got from watching this movie.

Prometheus is rated 15, in 2D and 3D and in cinemas now.

Men In Black III

This week I went to see Men In Black III at the Odeon Cinema in Basingstoke.

In the third instalment of the MIB franchise, an old enemy of K has escaped from a prison on the moon and goes back in time and erases him from history and it's up to J to time jump and save his partner and prevent the World being conquered.

If you like the Men In Black franchise, then you should like this...however as much as I'm a fan I just felt like this movie was made just for the sake of money, especially in 3D (which I didn't see the point of whatsoever). Sure there were some funny bits and bits which explain more about the J's father, but I just don't feel like it was a good movie in the franchise and I hope this is where it stops.

Men In Black III is in 2D and 3D, rated PG and in cinemas now.

The Traveler

Netflix has quite a mishmash of movies on there (and finally us UK users are getting a bit of a wider selection) and recently I noticed The Traveler. I looked at the details and people really slammed the movie saying it was truly awful...but it intrigued me and I wanted to see if the movie was that bad.

The movie is about a man who wanders into a police station on Christmas Eve and confesses to committing murders, although unbeknownst to the police officers they have not happened...yet. He gets interrogated and he says his name is Nobody...and starts his confessions. Each time he confesses to a murder, one of the officers in the station dies....because they all share a secret.

The movie wasn't the greatest, but by no means was it as awful as people have tried to make out. Sure, it was certainly staying in the realms of b-movie fare, the script was cheesy,the gore was a little over the top and the ending was more than a little lame...but there is an interesting twist and Val Kilmer's performace as Nobody was interesting and a little creepy.

The Traveler is rated 18 and available on DVD now.

Avengers Assemble (3D)

This week I went to see Avengers Assemble in 3D at Vue Cinema, Festival Place, Basingstoke.

Over the last few years, Marvel have been producing some really good movies...The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger...all these movies were leading up to this. If you watched during/after the movie credits, you had little snippets involving SHIELD and teases about the Avengers Initiative.

The story brings together the mightiest of Marvel's superheroes..The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow and Hawkeye under the watchful eye (no pun intended) of Nick Fury. The heroes are assembled as the Avengers Initiative, as a defence against the largest threats against the World.

The Avengers enemy is demigod Loki, who opens a portal to allow creatures to invade the planet so he can be come supreme ruler of Earth. At first the heroes fight against each other as Loki planned (Dr Banner says "We're not a team. We're a time bomb!") and that allows the invasion to go ahead.

Can the superheroes get together in save to save Earth? Damn straight they can...but how much of the Earth will be left?

The movie was a great watch, and had some great comedy moments, some touching moments, and of course a moral message (that teamwork is a good thing) and a great movie that Marvel/action/superhero fans will enjoy....and of course look out for the obligatory Stan Lee cameo and tease during the movie credits.

Joss Whedon has done a great story, and has truly redeemed himself after the absolute dross that was The Cabin In The Woods...this seems to be the kind of movie/realm that he works in best.

The movie was made 3D in post production, so this was not as good as it could have been...I know there are plenty of people who will be perfectly happy with the 3D, but most of the movie is "flat" and I wish that they would stop doing this. If you are going to make a movie 3D then actually film it in 3D, it makes all the difference.

Avengers Assemble is in cinemas now, you can see it in 2D or 3D and is rated 12A.

The Cabin In The Woods

Today I went to Vue Cinema, Festival Place, Basingstoke to see the movie The Cabin In The Woods.

The movie is about a group of people who go to a desolate place to unwind and have a good time...but all the while they are being watched and manipulated by people who are using them for a higher purpose...

I went into the cinema expecting good things of this movie, but to be honest it really was not to great a movie and despite a few clever bits a lot of it was highly predictable and to be honest quite boring. It had a little gore in it and some funny bits it in too, but it didn't save it. The ending was quite lame too.

Personally, I don't really recommend this movie very much...but I'm sure there are some people out there who will like it.

The Cabin In The Woods is rated 15 and in UK cinemas now.

50/50

Last week I attended a preview screening of the movie 50/50 at Vue Cinema, Festival Place, Basingstoke.

The movie is about Adam Lerner, a 25 year old man who has a simple life with a beautiful girlfriend and works for a radio station with his best friend who complicates his life in humorous ways.

Adam gets diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, and the movie shows how he and the people around hime deal with what is happening....he tells his friend, and he uses it it pick up girls (although he hides how scared he is for his friend), his girlfriend uses this as a way out of the relationship, and his mom wants to pretty much smother him (despite having her hands full with Adam's dad suffering from Alzheimer's disease.

Adam starts seeing a cute student doctor to help him with the psychological effects of the chemotherapy he undertakes....and they start falling for each other.

The movie, despite the sad circumstances is quite feel good...although there are the roller-coaster ups and downs everything does turn out fairly well in the end.

50/50 is rated 15 and in UK cinemas now.

Suck

Last night I watched the movie Suck on DVD.

The movie is about The Winners, a down and out band, who would be willing to do absolutely anything to get themselves a record deal.  When their manager tells them they are getting long in the tooth, he never realized how prophetic his words truly were.
During a road trip, The Winners radically change when bassist Jennifer goes off with someone one night (who turns out to be a vampire) and when she returns she is almost a different person with a sexually charged charisma that drives the fans wild.
One by one, the band succumbs to the blood lust and their "gimmick" and an incident with a radio DJ propels them to superstardom.
When an aging record producers calls them on being vampires, they realise that being vampires is not all that it's cracked up to be.

This is not the greatest of movies, featuring Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins and Moby (as a rocker called Beef!!) and features music from Rolling Stones, David Bowie and more...in fact the soundtrack is actually a lot better than the movie itself.

It's an ok movie I guess, it doesn't really take itself too seriously.

Suck is rated 15 and available on DVD now.

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)

Today I watched The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence).

The follow-up to the "shocking" movie The Human Centipede, and centers on Martin, a night time security guard who is a big fan of the original movie and fetishizes the incredible skills of Dr Heiter...and wants to make a 12 person "full sequence" human centipede.  After kidnapping the people he wants for his project, then then goes about making his creation, but with the lack of medical equipment uses kitchen utensils and household tools instead.

Although the movie was shot in color, the movie is in black and white, Tom Six said that while he was editing it he thought black and white was much scarier.  It does kind of add an atmosphere to it, but I'm not sure it makes it scarier....after all, you would have to make it more scary and less boring first.

An interesting thing of note was that Ashlynn Yennie played herself in the movie and is part of the human centipede Martin makes.

The movie was initially banned in the UK by the BBFC in June, but was granted an 18 rating in October after 32 cuts to the movie totaling 2 minutes and 37 seconds....I'm not sure what the cuts were, although I viewed the uncut version and to be honest, I really don't understand what all the fuss was about....sure this movie is "worse" than the original (on many levels including quality) but I have seen movies with worse in that haven't been banned.

If you liked the first movie (which I do not, I also found that movie boring) you may like this...it does try to ramp up the ramp a little more but to be honest it really isn't that good, there was no real story to it and it just felt like it was made for the sake of being made.

Not a great movie... 4/10

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is rated 18 and in UK cinemas now and available for download in the US.

Monsturd

Tonight, I'm watching the movie Monsturd on YouTube.

It is the story of prisoner Jack Schmidt who is on the run, and after a shootout falls into a sewer near a chemical company who have been dumping their waste.  The mixture of faeces and chemical waste transforms him into a being that is half-human and half-faecal matter, and he goes on a murderous rampage, coming up from the sewers via toilets, leaving messages written in faeces ("Don't Get Caught With Your Pants Down" and "Sh*t Happens" being examples).

Ideal for a Halloween watch, but a truly awful movie to be honest.  The dialogue is just awful and the acting is even worse...still it's not as bad as Birdemic...but it is REALLY close!!  Watch it if you want a laugh, or if you want to see how not to make a movie.

Monsturd is rated 15 (although I have absolutely no idea why), is available on DVD or if you want to watch it for free CLICK HERE and watch it on YouTube.

Fright Night 3D

Last Friday I went to see Fright Night 3D at Vue Cinemas, Festival Place, Basingstoke.

Fright Night is a remake of the movie of the same name released in 1985 and is the story of Charley Brewster, who discovers that his neighbour Jerry is a vampire and is responsible to the recent deaths of several people.
When nobody believes what Charley has discovered to goes to Peter Vincent, a self proclaimed vampire hunter to help him destroy Jerry.

The movie is great fun, and in my opinion one of the best remakes in a long time.  It was quite funny and had a few moments which made the audience jump. Colin Farrel played Jerry well, but the main star of the movie had to be David Tennant, who was amazing as Peter Vincent and very funny.

I don't think, however, that the movie should have been in 3D as the only parts you really noticed the 3D was when vampires were destroyed, and frustratingly the movie was not available in 2D at my local cinema.

Fright Night 3D (and in 2D in select cinemas) is rated 15 and in cinemas now.

June 9

No, before we start...this is not a belated blog...June 9 is the title of the movie!

The oldest village in northeast Ohio, Boston Mills is steeped in legend and lore, earning the nickname Helltown.  Since the early 1970s, Boston Mills remains the perfect playground for unsupervised teens, thrill-seekers and ultra-naturalists.

The movie follows a group of teenagers armed with nothing but a video camera and minds full of annoying pranks to the sleepy town of Boston Mills...but they discover that the the stories that made Boston Town famous are not the stories to be afraid of.

The teens vanished, and nobody knows what happened on June 9...nobody saw the events of that day, the gruesome truth...until now.

This movie...it's quite cheesy to be honest and feels like they were trying to replicate the greatness of The Blair Witch Project in some ways, and failing.  That's not saying this is a bad movie, although it is not a good movie either.  I did enjoy the ending as these teenagers were so damn annoying that they pretty much deserved everything that happened to them.

If you want to check this movie out, you can watch the full movie for free on YouTube!  CLICK HERE to watch it now.

This movie is unrated and available now also on DVD in the US if you want to purchase it.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance Teaser Poster

The movie hits cinemas early 2012, and here is the first teaser poster...

Well, it doesn't give away much...but should get the fans interested!  Let's just hope that this is better than the previous movie.

Red Riding Hood

Today I downloaded Red Riding Hood from iTunes (US)

Pretty girl Valerie is torn between 2 men...Peter, a brooding outsider and Henry, a wealthy man her parents have arranged for her to marry. Valerie and Peter are planning to run away together when they hear Valerie's sister has been killed by a werewolf that prowls the dark forest that surrounds the village.
The villagers had an uneasy true with the werewolf for years and offered it monthly animal sacrifices but under a blood red moon the beast has upped the stakes by taking a human life.
Wanting revenge, the village calls upon Father Solomon, a famed werewolf hunter, to kill the beast but Solomon's arrival has unintended consequences when he warns that the werewolf, who takes human form by day, could be any one of them.
As the death toll rises at every moon, Valerie has suspicions that the werewolf could be someone she loves and discovers she has a unique connection to the beast...making her suspect...and bait.

If you were expecting a story based on the fairy tale, don't get this movie, it's not what you'd expect...it's not quite the horror that some people tried to make it out to be either but more of a thriller with romantic overtones..  It has some interesting twists and turns and is a rather good movie, although I think it could have been a little better.

Red Riding Hood is rated 12 in the UK and will be available on BluRay, DVD and download on 22 August.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Yesterday I saw Captain America: The First Avenger 3D at Vue Cinema Basingstoke.

The year is 1942 and America has joined the war, and a weedy and sickly Steve Rogers wants to join the armed forces to help win the war, but gets rejected on more then one occasion to his frustration, until a doctor sees something in him and enlists him as part of Project Rebirth, which is an experiment to create super soldiers, thus transforming Rogers from weakling to a man of maximum human potential.  He is initially misused as a propaganda tool, but he changes that when he risks his life and saves many prisoners of war and shows he is a hero.

If you have been watching the recent Marvel superhero movie you will know that they are all building up to the Avengers movie which is out May 2012 in the UK, and this is a good part of the story explaining the creation of Cap and what happened during the war, and his discovery in present day.

The 3D was reasonable considering this wasn't filmed in 3D, although could have been better...although the images behind the credit at the end were well done....and speaking of the credits, stay right until the end of the of them, yet again Marvel have added something that you might like to watch at the end!

Captain America is rated 12A, also available to view in 2D and is in cinemas in the UK now.

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

I recently went and saw Transformers: Dark Of The Moon 3D at Vue Cinema Basingstoke.

The third movie in the franchise finds the Autobots battling the Decepticons once more.  Both sides are in a race to uncover secrets of a Cybertronian craft that crashed on the Moon.
The movie is kind of ok, with a few twists and turns and Sam has a new love interest (because Megan Fox kinda sealed her fate with Michael Bay, silly girl) which is kinda good.
This movie is better than Revenge Of The Fallen...but only just.  If you like the turn you brain off explosion-fests that Michael Bay does, you will absolutely love this, but I personally think there should have been more to this movie (and the previous 2 also).
I hope that this is the end of the Transformer movies, but with the money they will pull in this is highly unlikely and  there will probably be more on the way.
I saw the movie in 3D, and to be honest it didn't really justify it...to be honest a movie has to be shot in 3D for it to be effective, so it felt like this was just another movie attempting to jump on the 3D bandwagon and failing.

Transformers:Dark Of The Moon is rated 12A and is still in UK cinemas now.