I think movies are great (obviously) so I'm now trying to share my love and enthusiasm for movies with my kids too. Every now and then I'll do reviews with the Teacup Humans...and first movie up is Cooties.
Teacup Human 3 is I guess like any typical boy. He likes gross things, tries to get his sisters to smell his feet and has an interest in zombies. He chose this movie as one for us to share....I'm wondering, should this movie have been added to the quest (answer: definitely) ?
The kids at a summer camp are infected with a virus that makes them go ferral and kill adults....all caused by a chicken nugget.
So what did he think of the movie? Is it worthy of a sequel? And will he mention Dormammu? Well, the only way you'll find out is check out the new Zenless Popcorn audio podcast! We discuss this movie as well as ramble a bit about Avengers: Infinity War and Deadpool 2.
Wes Craven has a lot to answer for...I was 13 when I first saw this classic movie. It was the first horror movie I saw by choice and it got me interested in horror movies.
This movie is an absolute classic and will always be one of my most loved movies of all time.
The teenagers in Springfield are having terrible nightmares, all of them dreaming about a disfigured man who wants to kill them...and if they are killed in their dreams, then they're dead for real.
This movie was the saviour of New Line Cinema (which is lovingly known as "The House That Freddy Built") as they were having financial difficulties and A Nightmare on Elm Street was the success they desperately needed. Here's the trailer, check it out:
The story is quite interesting and the special effects were really good for the time. Englund was incredible as Freddy Krueger, and it was also the introduction of some actor called Johnny Depp, I think he did a few movies afterwards...
This movie spawned 6 sequels, a crossover (which was teased way back in Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday) and was also reboot in 2010 (which is awful, I reviewed it as part of my Quest for the WORST Movie, check it out.) and they are apparently doing another reboot that will be out at some stage.
The movie is still great, the story is clever and had many people not wanting to sleep for a while (odd side note: I'm not one of them, I tend to sleep quite well after watching one of the movies before the crossover or remake...). Wes Craven, thank you for such an awesome story!
A Nightmare on Elm Street is rated 18 and is available on Blu-Ray, DVD and digital download.
The Marvel Cinematic Universe has been going 10 years strong and has been leading up to this....THE INFINITY WAR.
I've been looking forward to this movie as soon as it was announced....and I was so into this that this is what I wore to go see it...
Now I know I know I know I'm not giving too much away when I say THANOS IS COMING! I mean if you are watching this then you SHOULD have watched the previous 18 movies in the MCU. Don't say you haven't been warned...well I guess in case you have been living under a rock for the last decade and you've not seen any of the movies that preceded this...I guess I should give a warning for minor/potential spoilers...
This movie really shouldn't strictly be called an Avengers movie, because as much as Avengers Iron Man, Captain America, Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Hulk, Doctor Strange and Spider-Man are in the movie there's also the Guardians of the Galaxy too.
Thanos is on a quest to get all of the Infinity Stones (which 5 were shown over the years, the Soul Stone was never revealed) and if he does then all the lives of the universe are at risk....and it is down to the team up od Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy to stop him.
The move is edge of your seat adventure, but it also had some shocking sad moments too so take tissues (me and my wife went to the Midnight screening and at one part she went "Nooooo!" and I thought she was going to cry). It's certainly worth going to the cinema to watch....in fact I say go now, go! GO!
I also got an exclusive poster from Odeon Silverlink for going to the Midnight screening:
Avengers Infinity War is rated 12A and can be seen in 2D, 3D, REAL3D, and D-BOX now.
I was recently discussing bad movies, this very blog and my quest with some friends at a party. We discussed many bad movies (Birdemic was universally agreed to be truly awful on pretty much every level) and it was suggested that Tusk should be added to the list.
I was surprised to hear that this movie was written and directed by Kevin Smith, but this gave me hope for this movie as I've liked what I've seen by him....so I got a copy and gave it a watch. Check out the trailer:
The story starts by saying that it is apparently based on true events and is about a podcaster who travels to Canada and interviews an unusual man who has a great interest in walruses. Think Human Centipede but Walruses and you're on the right track.
What the heck is this movie? The storyline is lame, the acting is awful, and it's quite the yawnfest and that's the bits that look good. There are not many movies that wanted me to switch off my laptop third way through the movie, but this one has become one of the "elite" few. This movie is dreadful. The only thing I thought was good (to a degree) was the prosthetics.
At one stage I thought I may have found a contender on the quest...but Birdemic can rest easy for now. As much as this movie was boring, at least it had some logic (in a twisted sense) the audio was good and the effects were actually effective. It also gets bonus points for having Johnny Depp in the movie without acknowledging Johnny Depp in the credits.
Tusk is rated 15 and is available on DVD, Blu-Ray and digital download.
I love horror movies. Horror movies are great. Scary things happen, maybe something screws with your head...perhaps some gore and almost every time there is a climax with some epic twist or the good guys win and everything in the garden is rosy.
Awesome.
Well...maybe not. You see I've watched hundreds of horror movies (it could border on the thousands, I've honestly lost count) over the years. Some have been awesome, some have been bad. But with all the horror movies I've watched there has been one thing that has remained constant. None of them ever scared me.
I wonder, is this a good or a bad thing? I enjoy watching horror, it's great to unwind in front of the TV or laptop watching a scary movie, but what's the point if they don't scare me? Isn't that the point?
I'm not wearing the fact that these movies don't scare me as a badge of honour, I'm genuinely disappointed. I want to be scared, I want that adrenaline rush from watching a horror movie seeing the beasts run riot. I wonder if it's because of my past. I was abused and forced to watch horror movies at the age of 6 (despite this I developed a passion for horror as a teen) perhaps it desensitised me. Maybe it's because sometimes the real world is far scarier than any fantasy. So, is there any way to get scared by a horror movie? A group on Facebook pondered people not being scared by horror and one person said it was because the ones not scared are just watching torture porn. I've watched all different horrors from all over the world. I've felt sick at one incident in one movie (The Toolbox Murders) but that's it. I remember asking someone once what stopped them watching horror but they could handle true stories about serial killers and torture. She said that she could handle something that's factual but horror truly scares her because that shows how dark and depraved someone's imagination was and that is scarier than any reality. I beg to differ personally but everyone fears different things differently. Maybe I'm a bit odd. Maybe I'll never be scared by a horror, unfortunately....but I'll keep on enjoying them anyway.
I really like horror. I started reading horror books at a very early age and loved the writings of Herbert, Masterton and King among others so when I heard that Pet Sematary was being released in 1989 I had hopes up for a good movie.
Now, I was fairly certain that I had seen this movie when it was released on VHS back in 1991, however, I have no recollection of doing so! This speaks volumes for the movie in some ways, but this potentially gives the movie a bit of a chance as I'm looking at it as if it was the first viewing.
Based on the best selling novel of the same name by Stephen King, this tells the story of a family who lives near an Indian burial ground and they have a few interesting experiences.
I'm trying my best to be fair to this movie. It was released in 1989, and the movie only had a third of the budget of IT (2017). The effects were not too bad for the time and I have to say that Fred Gwynne played Jud well (he looks creepy as hell in a parka!)...but the star of the show has to be young Miko Huges, his portrayal of Gage was a real show stealer.
So, this may not be the greatest Stephen King adaptation (although the first screenplay he had written for one of his adaptions.) but it certainly isn't the worst out there.
Pet Sematary is rated 18 and is available to view on DVD, Blu-Ray and digital download now.
As my quest ever continues...I have decided to pick Monsturd as my next contender.
This movie is about a convict that falls into a sewer full of chemicals and becomes and half-man/half-turd monster than grabs people when they use the toilet. Check out the trailer below:
No beating around the bush, Monsturd....this movie is a damn monster turd. All faecal matter jokes aside, this movie is awful....but it's still better than Birdemic, but only just.
The movie is about as realistic as Birdemic, and the actors I'm pretty convinced were made to do this at gunpoint they were that believable (apparently work colleagues of the crew acted in this)....but when you take into account this movie was made on an estimated budget of $3,000 I guess it's not surprising. Everything about this movie is bad, but amazingly this has more realistic effects than Birdemic! The audio is on par with Birdemic
I thought I'd introduce OddWolf to bad movies with this gem and this is what he had to say:
I don't understand why this film exists! What did come as a shock to me is that the film was made in 2003, it felt like an old 80’s film to me the whole way through. The money put into producing this would have been better spent literally anything, like inserting it directly into your rectum, as that would have been so much more entertaining than this film. If you choose to watch this movie this willingly, you need to have your head examined. Monsturd does not deserve to exist. It needs to die a swift death so it can cause no more pain.
(let's just remember this is his first bad movie...wait until he sees Birdemic!)
So, Birdemic....you were ALMOST knocked off your throne. But when you take into account that the Monsturd looks more realistic than the birds in your movie and you guys spend over treble the budget of Monsturd....you still retain the crown of Worst Movie....just.
Monsturd is rated 15 and available on DVD if you really must watch this movie.
It would appear that some comic book characters are instant gold when it comes to movies. There is a wealth of stories you can go through, and the characters are amazing and if they are done the right way you have a set of movies that are a gold mine. Look at examples like the original Superman movies, Deadpool, and The Dark Knight trilogy and you'll see some amazing storytelling with some great characters.
With great regret, I have to inform you that Fantastic Four appears to be one of those franchises that has never been one of the good ones, and Fant4stic is proof of this.
The movie is just outright awful! I mean before I start on anything else, did somebody lose the money for the lighting budget? I mean there appear to be nothing but a lot of darkened rooms and outdoor night shots which is really bad. I mean I understand that some movies make it look gritty and edgy by having shots in dark rooms, but not all the time!
The story does not seem to make a lot of sense either, but I guess it does not help that there is a lot of things there were filmed and then left on the cutting room floor...or the just the trailer.
Now, you look at the trailer and you expect a movie with a good bit of action, yes? Well, without giving too muhc of it away, theres a major scene in the trailer which DOESN'T happen in the movie, which is a real pity because it would have improved it significantly.
This movie is just dreadful. The story was dreadful as strayed right away from the proper origins of The Fantastic Four (They got their powers in outer space dagnabbit!!!), The Human Torch was played by a black man (no issue with this as such...except he's brother to The Invisible Girl and she's white...and pretty sure that they don't have same folks, it's confusing) and the most controversial thing? Well yes...Thing....he isn't wearing any trunks (Don't worry there's no genitalia showing!). Oh, and what the hell was up with Doctor Doom?!?
Now, I totally understand that what was attempted here was a completely new retelling of the creation of The Fantastic Four, but they just did it wrong, and on top of all that there was the differences between Josh Trank and 20th Century Fox. The movie posters and trailers show much more to this movie than what is actually shown and that is really sad (For examples and details have a look HERE and HERE) so maybe if we were actually allowed to see the movie as it was originally supposed to be there would have been something that was far more cohesive and would at least make some sense.
Yet again, it would appear that the curse of Twentieth Century Fox has fallen on a third movie, and this is truly awful....and this has to be the worst of the 3 movies that come from that studio. However, as much as this movie is truly awful it's still not as bad as either Birdemic movie and so my quest continues to find that one movie that can take the crown.
Fant4stic is rated 12A and is available on DVD, Blu-Ray and digital download.
