Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge (3D)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge (aka Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man Tell No Tales) is the fifth outing of Captain Jack Sparrow and his "friends" having adventures on high seas and basically trying to stop getting Jack killed....man, Jack does seem to have done a lot of things over the years and made a fair few enemies hasn't he? Here's the official trailer...

This time, Jack is on the hunt for the Trident of Poseidon, a treasure that can break all curses of the sea, with the help of his crew, Hector Barbarossa and Will Turner's son all the while being hunted by pirate hunter Captain Salazar, who wants revenge for his death.

It's a fun movie movie with the usual stunts and crazy shenanigans you'd come to expect from a POTC movie, but I felt it had something missing from it, especially when you consider this is potentially the end of the series (there are conflicting reports with some saying it is the end, and others stating that this is the beginnning of the end). There are several things that happen during the movie that ignore the series canon too (although to be fair this does happen quite a bit in this franchise in the other movies), making it feel at times that the movie was made by people who knew nothing about the franchise, but despite this it still isn't too bad a story wrap-up, and has an interesting after-credits scene too (although a majority of the audience left the screen as the credits started to roll).

The make-up and CGI where pretty good, Salazar and his crew looked pretty good and that as always was one of the highlights of the movies in this franchise...the demons that come out seem too look more and more flamboyant and in my view quite awesome....however, there were a few occasions when watching it in 3D that Salazar looked liked he'd been cut and pasted into the action which was a bit distracting sometimes.

The movie isn't really worth watching in 3D either, it felt flat still which was a disappointment, but that does seem to happen with a lot of movies these days. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge is in cinemas now, rated 12A and can be seen in 2D, 3D and D-Box.

Quest for Worst Movie Part 1 - BIRDEMIC

I must be absolutely mental....
I have decided that if I am to attempt to find a movie worse than Birdemic: Shock and Terror then I should rewatch it and refresh my memory of how it really is....perhaps I am wrong and I need to give it some slack?

People who used to read my blog way back when will know I have watched and reviewed this "amazing" movie and the review can be found HERE....I'd noticed I've been really quite dismissive and not said much about the movie at all here, so I'll do a bit of a better review this time.

Well, here's the trailer to begin with just so you can have a taste of the movie:

Right, so now that's out the way...on with the review....

Birdemic: Shock and Terror is set in Half Moon Bay, California when the hero of the piece appears to be some kind of telemarketer or something and scores a million pound contract (or something like that) and then he asks out someone he knew from school....they then go out and birds start going crazy and explode on impact (yes, really!). With everyone getting killed, will these lovers survive the Birdemic? More importantly....will my sanity survive this movie?

The acting is awful, the actors and actresses could have been replaced with cardboard cutouts with sound chips that "played" screamy death metal versions of Bible passages when motion was detected and it would have made more sense, and the dialogue was spoken so robotic all that it almost felt like people were bored and just wanted to get it over and done with. 

Whoever did the editing needs to be shot....the first 40-45 minutes were pretty much scenery shots and basically unnecessary...it just drags out a movie that's already a huge drag.

The music to the movie is damn awful too....played at the wrong time, doesn't sound right for the film or is too quiet when it plays. 

But the worst thing of all when it comes to this movie is the CGI. It looks like someone has ripped the digitized graphics from a Sega Genesis 32x badly and then superimposed them over....in fact the graphics from a Sega Genesis are probably superior! 

I really do not think that there is anything positive about this movie in any way shape or form, I've really tried to find something...anything that could potentially be good about Birdemic Shock and Terror and the only thing I can find good about this is the end of the movie as I'll never EVER watch this again. 

The movie was inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds....fine I understand that it's killer birds brought into the modern age (being mutated by global warming!!) but this is just so wrong.  I like to give movies a chance, and I have really tried this second time around, but I still think this is the worst movie that has ever been created

I'm not the only person who thinks that this movie is truly awful. With many places saying that this is the worst movie ever made, I am seriously wondering if there is any way to beat it....however, not everyone has the same taste as me and the movie does indeed have a cult following, so much so that there has been a second movie made and there is an Indiegogo page to attempt to raise funds for a third and apparently final movie.

And now some videos that show how bad this movie is...obviously, these are going to contain spoilers, so if you do actually intend to watch this movie then DO NOT WATCH THEM!!

JonTron calls Birdemic: Shock and Terror the worst movie ever.

CinemaSins: Everything Wrong With Birdemic

Birdemic: Shock and Terror is rated 15 and available on DVD and BluRay if you want to grab yourself a copy.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Well, as today is International Towel Day, I thought it only appropriate that I do a review on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The movie, based on the book (based on the radio series) of the same name, chronicles the adventures of an Earth dweller called Arthur Dent, his friend Ford Prefect, Intergalactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox, his companion Trillion and an Android called Marvin, who after the Earth is demolished to make way for a Hyperspace Bypass search for the planet Magrathea.

As a fan of the Books, Comic, Radio Series, TV Series, Game and more I was really looking forward to this movie, after all this was in development hell for about 15 and sadly the legendary Douglas Adams never got to see it...and if I'm honest I wish I hadn't seen it either (I really should have taken my Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses with me to watch this!!)

For starters, Ford Prefect was played by Mos Def...and American black man!  I'm sorry, but this was wrong...Ford is a white man!!!  And the way that they had Zaphod Beeblebrox's heads was wrong too, they are supposed to be next to each other, not a bloody pop up thing!!  The story felt wrong and does not feel like it was based on the book but perhaps the writer's mind wandered somewhere outside the Galaxy too.

There are some good points to this movie though (barring the end of the movie) and that is Stephen Fry being the voice of The Book (Amazing voice from an amazing man, great choice) and the voice of Marvin was the later great Alan Rickman.

All in all, it's not too bad as a movie in itself, but to me personally I do not feel that it belongs in the H2G2 universe.

Is there a movie that's WORSE than Birdemic?

I was on Facebook recently when I saw a post asking about what the worst movie ever made is, and everyone who knows me knows that the worst movie I have ever seen is Birdemic.  The acting is awful, the script is awful and the CGI is so bad that 8 bit sprites from a Sega Master System would be better!  I have only ever seen this movie once and I never....EVER...want to see this again.  It's so bad that my wife watched the Cinema Sins for this and said that she wanted her 20 minutes back and it topped Eragon which was her worst ever movie!

However, like Qui-Gon Jinn says "There's always a bigger fish" so I am now on a quest to see if there is a movie that's worse than Birdemic....I have so far had the following suggested:

• Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice
• Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Remake)
• Dragonball Evolution
• A Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake)
• Prometheus
• Screamers
• RoboCop 3
• Eragon
• Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
• Batman & Robin
• Santa Claus vs The Martians
• X-Men 3: The Last Stand
• Food Fight
• American Ultra
• Underworld series
• eXistenZ
• Iron Sky 1&2
• Nazis at the Centre of the Earth
• Fateful Findings
• Twilight
• The Final Destination
• Naked Lunch

So...what do you think has the potential to beat Birdemic and take the crown for my worst movie ever?  Give me your suggestions, I'll give them a watch and let's see if you're right!!